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In a red carpet interview at the Oscars, Tig Notaro introduced the documentary Come See Me in a Good Light in memory of poet Andrea Gibson. She said, “We lost our friend in July, and we made this film. Andrea would say, ‘Don’t let a horrible diagnosis be what makes you start living your life.’ This movie is a perfect replacement for a horrible diagnosis to wake you up. You don’t have to wait for a horrible diagnosis… this film is life-affirming. It wakes you up in an urgent way about life.”
That introduction gripped my attention and prompted me to seek out the film to watch as soon as I am able.
One of the big themes that emerged from the Olympics was the role of female athletes: Those who came back after taking breaks to tend to their mental health and who rebounded with amplified performance, like Alysa Liu who showed up with a quality of bold inner peace that enabled her to withstand the extreme pressure and go on to win Gold.
One more big story. Financial guru Dave Ramsey, in a podcast with Arthur Brooks, shared that he was a self-made millionaire by the time he was 26, then lost it all, married with two young children and filed bankruptcy. He made that money back again and is now helping millions of people to find “financial peace.”
Each of these stories serves different objectives: inspires action (watch the documentary), creates inclusion (we all suffer mental health issues), and establishes credibility (Dave Ramsey’s advice comes from a place of “been there, done that.”)
These are also really big narratives, and we are surrounded by them as we listen to podcasts, read memoirs, and watch the news. All around us, big things are happening: people are overcoming enormous obstacles, winning gold medals, changing lives, creating art, and winning awards.
We love those stories, but my concern is that it might make you feel like you don’t have a story.
I want to remind you of the power of the small narrative, because that’s what influential change leadership is driven by. Not (always) the big, life-or-death, massive transformations.
The keynote speaker, who quietly acknowledged that she’d received some difficult news prior to stepping on stage, said it helped her to name it out loud in the room. Everyone empathized with her – who hasn’t had to show up when things feel like they are falling apart?
The board member who said his “why” is to see the joy in his kids’ faces.
Small but mighty narratives allow us to create connection through the everyday moments of life we all experience. They are far more real and relatable than the millionaire who lost everything and then earned it back. Of course, that narrative is inspirational, and at the same time, it shouldn’t hold you back from sharing what happened to you at the grocery store, or the realization you had during your morning run, and what you learned when you weren’t accepted into your dream university.
Before you dismiss a story because it doesn’t feel big enough, ask yourself:
- Does it reveal something true?
- Does it connect to an experience someone else has lived?
We have no idea the impact our stories will have until we tell them. Big stories are not prerequisites for having something worth saying. The everyday stuff is often what makes someone in the room think, “me too.” That’s not small; that’s the whole point!
When you’re ready, here are a few ways I can help you and your team:
Need to get better at telling your story? (Or the story you tell yourself!) I can work with you one-to-one or with your team to help you prepare for your next presentation, pitch, or even navigate your next big change.
Looking for an engaging speaker? I deliver inspiring keynotes that help people connect to their stories and each other to better engage their teams, customers, and communities.
See a video showcasing my work here and if you need help with one of the items below, let’s schedule a time to talk.
Need something else you think I can help with? I’d love to connect.
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