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There are two kinds of people: those who lead the energy and those who reflect the energy in the room. Which are you? Here’s a test if you aren’t sure: When passing by someone on the sidewalk or in the hallway, are you the first to smile and say hi, or do you wait to see if they do, and respond accordingly?
Have you thought about it before?
Here’s why I ask: When we lead the energy, we bear gifts.
Last Friday, October 3, I parked outside the gym and reached around for my airpods and was disappointed to discover they didn’t make it into the car. I was especially bummed because Taylor Swift had just dropped her new album, and I wanted to give it a first listen while I was working out. I entered the gym and a handful of people were head down working out, classic rock quietly playing in the background. Jen, the owner/trainer, said, “Hey, Gerbs,” and I asked if she would play the album because I’m curious to hear it.
The high energy pop beats immediately shifted the energy in the room, prompting more laughter and discussion. Ten or 15 minutes later, Jen came over to me and said, I figured it out – it’s all in the greeting.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
She said, “People are really struggling right now. Financially, emotionally. Many of my clients have been confiding, and it’s tough right now. It’s amazing, when I greet them at the door with a big smile and more energy, they immediately change demeanor. And it changes everything. I’m going to do that from now on.”
Without making light of the heavy stuff going on, we can lead the energy and, as my friend Ellen Rogin says, “create the environment for magical opportunities to arise.”
We get to choose. We can feel scared, anxious, and uncertain, but it’s exhausting, right? What fun is that? It’s zero fun.
When negative feelings surface, negative actions manifest from it. Here’s an example: When I get worried about money, I start by doing something as simple as reviewing my bank and card statements, and canceling subscriptions I no longer need. From there, the spiral goes downward to nowhere useful.
Sometimes we have to manufacture feelings.
Similar to Jen, I have seen the same struggle in most of my conversations with clients and colleagues. We are concerned about the world, about the future.
The negative spiral that leads to nowhere useful is a place called isolation. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General (Vivek Murphy) issued an Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community titled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. It highlights that connection is vital to our health, yet one out of two adults experiences feelings of isolation. Not only is loneliness a health threat, Vivek Murphy compared to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, it’s associated with lower academic achievement and diminished performance at work.
So how can we manufacture feelings? Ellen suggested we think about a time when we are at our best. Take a pause now – what does that look like for you? Bottle that feeling that just came up and manufacture it when you need it.
This is not to say that we ignore the things that trigger these feelings, but when we feel at our best, we are better at dealing with that which is thrown our way.
And here’s the thing: that anxiety {or insert your negative emotion here} is just as manufactured as the one we just created by thinking at our best. Like our internet browser, we just need to select which is the default. We can manufacture confidence, abundance, and joy, for some of us, with a little more difficulty than others. 🙂 but we can do it. It sounds like a reframe, and in a sense it is, but it’s a visceral reframe. You can really create that feeling if you hone in on it, which will then reverse the downward spiral.
It starts with the story you tell yourself. We can tell ourselves things are really hard right now, or we can recognize that AND know we are up to the challenge because something great lies on the other side of working through it.
Circling Back
The stories we tell each other are the vehicle to connection. The work I do with individuals, teams, and communities has never felt more urgent and necessary.
If uncertainty, anxiety, or lack of confidence has translated to isolation, lower performance, and decreased revenue for you or your team, let’s have a conversation because I can help you manufacture a different feeling—one that’s energizing instead of depleting, abundant instead of scarce, connected instead of isolated.
Storytelling is a soft skill with concrete outcomes.
Take care out there.
When you’re ready, here are a few ways I can help you and your team:
Need to get better at telling your story? (Or the story you tell yourself!) I can work with you one-to-one or with your team to help you prepare for your next presentation, pitch, or even navigate your next big change.
Our Pause in Provence retreat is nearly full — only two rooms remain! If you’ve been thinking about joining us for this transformational experience in the heart of Provence, now is the time to act. Secure your spot.
Looking for an engaging speaker? I deliver inspiring keynotes that help people connect to their stories and each other to better engage their teams, customers, and communities.
See a video showcasing my work here and if you need help with one of the items below, let’s schedule a time to talk.
Need something else you think I can help with? I’d love to connect.
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