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It’s been a long time since I worked in a corporate environment as an employee. I had some good experiences—interesting projects here and there, fun holiday parties, good connections with colleagues—but here are the more prominent memories: A boss who pitted me against my colleagues, telling me things they were reporting to her that proved untrue. A micro-manager who completely demoralized me by bulldozing how I implemented strategic objectives. A good-ole-boys club I couldn’t access. A boss so fearful of her own job security, she didn’t trust me to do mine.
It’s a wonder I left, right?
Now I serve this market and continue to have conversations with emerging leaders and middle managers. Not much has changed: they feel disconnected from senior leadership, make assumptions in a communication vacuum, or are given tons of leeway but not the tools or information to perform well.
It’s a wonder they leave.
People are saying no to toxic culture.
What They Actually Want
According to the Global Leadership Forecast 2023 by Development Dimensions International, which surveyed almost 14,000 leaders, leaders want a sense of purpose.
Consider the top concerns among CEOs:
- Attracting and retaining top talent
- Developing the next generation of leaders
- Maintaining an engaged workforce
The key to those things? Giving your teams and stakeholders a connection to purpose.
(Everyone wants purpose. Not just your emerging leaders. Your donors, board members, buyers, and partners—given a choice, they will always choose organizations with a clear purpose over those without.)
Alright, so leaders want purpose, but fewer than half have it (according to the DDI study, fewer than half of leaders find their jobs to be purposeful).
And when they do, they are 9 times more likely to feel engaged and 2.4 times more likely to stay at the company for the following year. (p. 15 of the study)
Guess what? A strong leadership team is 3 times more likely to be financially top-performing. So we’re not just talking nice-to-haves here.
How to do it
When I think back to my relationships from my corporate career, I can think of only one that sustained. Most of my friendships are from my time waiting tables in my 20s, and I remain friends with many of them. My life experience might differ from yours, but my observations yield some helpful insights if you’ll bear with me:
Reflecting on the difference between my corporate and hospitality days, the significant variable is the conversations we took the time to have.
Restaurant work was fast-paced and high-pressure, but we had time before service—while polishing silverware, filling ice bins, setting tabletops, and arranging centerpieces. We learned about each other’s upbringing, spouses, and kids, what we did on days off (often together).
We also had a shared purpose in “surviving” dinner service. We had a shared goal of delivering a positive experience, never knowing how the night would go or who would get slammed. If someone was “in the weeds,” we helped them. At the end of the night, we shared a sense of accomplishment over a beverage.
Don’t get me wrong—we had toxic environments too—verbally abusive chefs, micromanaging managers, and coworkers who didn’t pull their weight. I’m not overidealizing my time waiting tables—I’m cherry-picking the positives and wondering how we can bring that to our teams.
How to Create Real Connection
Make time a priority over box-ticking.
People love to talk about themselves if you ask interesting questions. Ask them about moments:
- What is a moment that led you to this work?
- When was a time since you began working here that you realized it was what you wanted to do?
- What is someone or something outside of work that motivates you to be successful here?
When you ask specific, interesting questions about moments, you’ll be surprised by the stories you elicit and the connections they create.
Articulate the team’s shared purpose and how each role contributes to it.
Share the rationale behind decisions. Acknowledge failures and lessons learned. Tell “why” stories based on moments, not chronologies of things that happened.
Why story-driven leaders get better results
For as long as the Industrial Revolution, being “results-driven” has been a badge of honor. If, like me 👋🏼, you love a good to-do list and the dopamine hit of crossing items off (bonus points if you write down something you already did just to cross it off), you’re results-driven.
The problem is the word “driven.” We lose sight of what matters and focus on ticking boxes. Quality suffers because we become box tickers.
Real results require relationships, collaboration, and trust.
The skill set of the future is influence. Results-driven leaders will hit a ceiling. They’ll get overlooked for promotions, struggle with team retention, and see less-qualified competitors win because they can’t inspire emotional buy-in. They’re the ones who fear AI—and they probably should, because technical skills are becoming a commodity. If you can’t build relationships that put you in a position of meaningful influence, it isn’t just limiting—it’s career-ending.
The stories we tell each other bring people into a shared narrative, rather than box-ticking toward outcomes.
Transform Your Leadership Team
The numbers tell a story: Excelling in today’s environment requires the relationship-building skill of powerful conversations.
I’ve created a three-month program for companies with leadership teams committed to this philosophy (50+ employees) that helps you shift from a result-driven to a story-driven culture. It combines everything—my keynote, full-day workshop, and group coaching sessions—redistributed across a full quarter so your leaders can transform from invisible to influential. Remember, strong leadership teams are 3 times more likely to be financially top-performing, so it’s really one of the smartest investments you can make in your people.
This is open to three organizations per quarter, and I’m offering a reduced “introductory: rate for the first five to enroll.
Want to schedule a time to talk about it? I’d love to. Private message me to schedule a 30-minute call.
Learn more: DDI Global Leadership Forecast 2023
Take care out there.
When you’re ready, here are a few ways I can help you and your team:
Need to get better at telling your story? (Or the story you tell yourself!) I can work with you one-to-one or with your team to help you prepare for your next presentation, pitch, or even navigate your next big change.
Our Pause in Provence retreat is nearly full — only two rooms remain! If you’ve been thinking about joining us for this transformational experience in the heart of Provence, now is the time to act. Secure your spot.
Looking for an engaging speaker? I deliver inspiring keynotes that help people connect to their stories and each other to better engage their teams, customers, and communities.
See a video showcasing my work here and if you need help with one of the items below, let’s schedule a time to talk.
Need something else you think I can help with? I’d love to connect.
Stay in touch.
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